Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Channeling Your Parents' Parenting

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This week's topic: What aspects of your parents' parenting do you want to continue in parenting your own kid(s)?
If my home were hit by some Freaky Friday type twister-oo and my mom and I were swapped 29 years, she'd be my age and mothering my daughter. I'd be 30 and mothering well, myself. And you wouldn't.be.able.to.tell.us.apart. I completely and totally model my parenting by what my mom and dad did. I figure they raised two smart, strong, successful kids (toot, toot), so if I do exactly what they did, I will end up with the same results.

I am so grateful to have a set of parents that I want to model after. I know many are not as lucky. As a I learn and grow as a mom, I hope that I will be able to add in my own twist to the methods. Some things will absolutely remain the same. Here is a list:
  1. Bedtime. I had a bedtime until literally 11th grade. Eleventh grade. And it was embarrassingly early. Like 9pm. But I did well in school, I can't remember ever falling asleep in class, and I was a relatively well rested, pleasant teenager to be around. Perhaps it wasn't the sleep that caused all this. However, there are a "couple" articles/research studies/experiments that document the benefits of a good night's sleep.
  2. NOT grounding. I was never once grounded. My parents didn't believe in it. I don't know why. I've never asked. (We are having dinner there tonight. Hello, dinner conversation.) It sure seemed to work though! The bro (he needs a baseball related nn) and I were never arrested, suspended, or otherwise in serious trouble.
  3. Teaching financial freedom. I had to take classes in school. I had to save a percentage of all gift money. I did not receive an allowance. I may handle this differently than my parents, but it is so important to teach children how to manage money!
  4. Be a parent. I feel it now, but I never once recall feeling like my parents were my friends. I felt loved, appreciated, valued. But I had rules, restrictions, privileges, and consequences.
  5. Brag. Just enough. Just within earshot. Just the truth.
With all that being said:

I wonder a) how my husband would respond to the same question. He and I had very different childhoods. His mom and dad used different methods and also raised smart, strong, successful children. b) how he'd respond to my answers. I don't agree with a lot of methods his parents used and I am sure he's not in love with all of my parents' ideas either. I am a stay at home mom, so I spend the majority of the time with the All Star. I need to do a better job of making sure the Head Coach and I are on the same page. His ideas are important too.


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2 comments:

Paige said...

Great ideas!

I would love to hear why your parents didn't ground. I had a great upbringing that involved grounding and I'm not sure how I feel about it. So, share the info please!

Amen on the financial learning. I'm a money idiot. My mom told me this is the thing she regrets the most. I'm working this year on getting better with money so I can pass that on to Aellyn.

Oh, and I don't have any fine china either. Mom offered to start buying me some but it is so expensive I hate to get it even as a gift. But you are right, there are other ways to make it special. Even lighting candles and playing music would make it fancy.

andrea said...

financial freedom is so the key. at least it was for me. my mom taught me to deduct money every week to put into savings. thankfully.

growing up my mom was always my friend, but she was always my mom too. We never got to a point where she was "too friendly" and it caused issues - I always listened and did what she said. It was the perfect balance.